Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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