The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
