Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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