For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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