Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize