So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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