I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
