Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
