false alarm. still invincible.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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