the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
my liver is dry heaving
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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