soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
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he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
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He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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