The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
