Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He better not be in your backpack
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Randomize
