He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
smell my finger.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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