There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
they need to just BURY HIM!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
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