I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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