did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Let's paint friendship bongs
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
