Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
