is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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