I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
