in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
