the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
