Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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