You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
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