At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
