i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
