I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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