i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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