Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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