The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
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So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
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Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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