I'm gonna have a badass scar
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
