i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
