Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
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