It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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