I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Farmville is her only friend.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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