All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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