Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
