Define "chronic" masturbator.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
