i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
