i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
