so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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