I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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