in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
