loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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