no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
