The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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