I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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