The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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