I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
