My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
