I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
