so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
