My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
