Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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