Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
