I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
it's like heaven, but drunker
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
