You smell like stripper and shame
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
