I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
