Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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