I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
You're so nebulous sometimes
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
