I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
