Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
