Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
