Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
