Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I love black thongs
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
