Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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