I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
This toilet bowl is my home.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
