eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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